I like days like this, where I get to sleep in for more than 10 hours. I woke up and I start cleaning the place. It's being ages since I do any cleaning. :D Days past by really slowly and I too move at the same turtle pace. Before I know it, its night time and I will hit the bed.
I used to look forward to night time where I can chat with him but in so many occasions, it just seems hard. He is always out or having his family time. It was really disappointing and I have to admit there are so many times where I feel like why is he not here? Then I start to feel like everything seems to be half-hearted. All I got is a helpless msn shrug that I can't even see or feel. Eventually I gave up looking forward to any of these stuff and learn to be by myself.
These few months, with and without him is not easy but I know he tries to make things easy for me, which I truly appreciate. There are times he could not see my perspectives and I am at a loss of words to reason with him for he could not understand the language I speak in. And when we try to reason things out, I would accidentally inflict some of my hurtful thoughts on him. I feel really so sorry after that.
I remember telling someone that a beautiful relationship is a result of the efforts two people pour into. I think he was chuckling at the other end when I said that. I suppose there are times even when both parties are pouring in there are still forces beyond our control that just made everything seems so half-heartedly.
Oh well... nothing in the world is easy. He is still wonderful and perfect for me. :)
Posted at 1/3/2007 2:48:05 pm by zinny
